My Guiding Light
A tribute to my Mum - my friend and my textile warrior
I have faced adversity, trauma, and difficult times but nothing can prepare you for losing a loved one. In my case, it is my mother – my friend, my textile warrior – and at the time of writing her death was just 3 weeks ago. This isn’t going to be a fluffy article about the joys of naturism, but more of a nod to my Mum and the power of acceptance, which over my lifetime she demonstrated time and time again.
My Mum brought me up single handedly in a time where single Mums were very heavily judged. She did her very best for me and my 2 older siblings putting aside her needs to make sure the children never went without. She worked full time and the struggle was real as she made sure she could keep a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. My mum and I had always been close. My brothers were closer in age, and I was deemed the annoying little sister, but Mum had my back often siding with me when the big brothers hid the remote control or pushed me about too much! She was the first person I told about my rape and she supported me all the way through that terrible time. It must’ve been awful for her as a parent too, to know your child had been subjected to that, but she remained so strong – for me. My Mum was ever present in my life; when I left the South West of England to go and live in London, Mum sold up and followed me to London two years later. We laughed so much as we partied like besties in my early 20’s. She supported me throughout my first marriage (and it’s divorce) and was even at the business end while i gave birth to her beautiful grandchild. My Mum has always been there for me.
When Simon, my second husband, came into our lives, she was of course over protective. Was anyone going to be good enough for her daughter and granddaughter? He seemed to qualify, so she gave us her blessing to marry and gave a wonderful ‘Mother of the Bride’ speech.
We are all very aware of how naturism is deemed to the outside world with many of us too afraid to admit to being a naturist or preferring a clothing free lifestyle (weather permitting) for fear of judgement, ridicule or even rejection, especially from family. When my Mum first learned of Simon being a naturist, she had the same fears and thoughts as the wider society because she didn’t fully understand what naturism was, but my Mum had the intelligence and interest to find out about it rather than just writing Simon off as some ‘weirdo’. It could have been very easy for her to reject him due to her own strict Catholic upbringing, but she had the strength of mind not to judge. It was difficult for Mum to understand at first, it seemed to go against everything she’d been taught about nudity and sex.
At the time, I wasn’t a naturist either but assured my Mum that nothing had changed in terms of how Simon was going to treat me and my daughter just because we now understood that he was a naturist, that he liked to be clothes free and that nudity didn’t equate to sex Life plodded along for a while and you can imagine her surprise when I told her that I had been to a naturist resort and now understood what Simon liked about it. I wrote my story for H&E Magazine in January 2021 (now available here on SubStack) and showed my Mum the article. Her first remark – “I always knew you were good with words”. Eventually, I began to write for H&E on a monthly basis and would share my articles with her. She was now reading other peoples accounts of naturism, how it had helped them with body confidence, social integration, the differences in us all as humans and the lack of judgement present in socially nude environments. She also fully supported my work with British Naturism and could see I was trying to make a difference in supporting people through naturism. Despite all this, I still expected some resistance when she learned of the media work that kept coming our way, yet none came. She was very proud of me and how I was pushing aside my own insecurities in an attempt to normalise nudity to the wider public, especially on the main stream TV channels. She could see the confidence I had gained since discovering the joys of naturism. She even took to the socials and defended Simon and I when she had read some of the nasty comments about us. Bless her!
Although naturism wasn’t for Mum, she had no issue with anyone else practicing it or indeed being around naked people herself now that she understood what it was all about. She even came to the Naturist Foundation with me (albeit off season) and sat and had a cup of tea with the Camping Warden while he was naked! She said at the time “I think he was more awkward than me!” I think she was right. It was a bizarre moment to see my Mum socialising with naked people and not batting an eyelid. She never ceased to amaze me and I was immensely proud of her. She would even help Simon and I out with our social media accounts by posing alongside our nakedness (with her clothed) demonstrating to the world that nudity was normal and acceptable and she loved us no matter what.
Simon and I made her a calender of our normalising nudity attempts two years running, and she displayed it proudly in her kitchen, always ready to defend it should visitors comment. She had a fall on 24th August 2024 and called for an ambulance. She was bantering with the paramedics even then, telling them how naturism is perfectly normal and misunderstood. She was a textile warrior for us all. We didn’t know that this would be her last time she saw her flat, and that she was taken away from me just five days later. I really thought we had more time together, more laughs, more everything.
My Mum’s legacy is one of love, strength, and acceptance. She taught me the importance of being there for others, of standing strong in the face of adversity, and of accepting life’s challenges with grace. Her influence will continue to shape my life, and I strive to live up to the example she set. In writing this article, I hope to honour my Mum’s memory and share the lessons she taught me with others. Life is unpredictable, and we all face difficult times, but the power of acceptance can help us navigate these challenges. My Mum’s life was a testament to this, and her legacy will continue to inspire me and those who knew her.
My message here is simple. Don’t be afraid to talk about naturism. Give your family and friends a chance to understand. Maybe, like my Mum, they simply don’t really know what naturism is. It’s easy to pass something off as strange or weird if we don’t understand it, but by talking about it these conversations can help demystify naturism, addressing any misconceptions or stereotypes that may exist. By sharing personal experiences and the positive aspects of naturism, you can help others see it in a new light.
I’m so lucky to have had my Mum by my side my entire life. My Mum was a shining example of human kindness. In a world rife with judgement, my Mum chose instead to offer her support and understanding. Not once has she judged us, she simply wanted to know more. Now I have to learn a new normal without her. Her body, her vessel may be gone, but she will be forever with me.
In memory of Kathleen Wilson. 1947 - 2024
